June 28, 2009

RED BULL...LIFE'S LITTLE EPIDURAL

"Natural childbirth" to me, meant simply going without makeup! I was lining up my epidural as I was signing in, still smiling, at the nurse's station.

Did you go through childbirth? Did you get an epidural? Did you recognize the insanity that anything in the world could possibly make the concept of a horse needle being shoved into your spine appealing?

The smell and taste of Red Bull nausiates me. I liken the taste to the smell of a Greyhound Bus bathroom deodorizer (can't speak for the taste of that!)

However, the thought of 'natural mothering' is more terrifying than Red Bull is nausiating. Much the same way I did the math about the joys of an epidural, I conclude that Red Bull is my friend in helping to minimize the pain of being devastatingly tired so I can deliver a clean(er) house, walked dog, a meal on the table, a properly nagged family, a load or 10 of laundry a day AND do my work as designer and writer.

Someone turned me on to Red Bull while I was training for a marathon, where one is challenged to the limit to find and maintain energy. I reserved it for just the long runs. I would glug it down like a bitter tonic and count on the 'red' or the 'bull' part to carry me through some portion of the distance. After the marathon was complete, I still had one lone can left in the fridge. I knew it was in there...it gave me a friendly hello every time I would open the fridge. I gave it a nod in return, but I had discounted any other use for it.

One especially allergy-bitten, lack-of-sleep foggy headed day, still groggy after a mere 8 cups of coffee, I staggered to the fridge in my habitual "auto-explore" one learns when working from home. Not only did the can say it's usual hello to me, it broke into songs of a chorus of angels. I found my savior.

I freely confess on the days when schedules are overloaded and pollen count is on high, coffee is about as effective as taking an aspirin for labor pains. I keep on special reserve for those days, a stash of little silver cans that I used to love to hate and now hate that I love!

What do you do the make it through on those especially exhausting days?

3 comments:

  1. Candy and lots of it... of course I'm told that the reason I get tired when I go on my candy benders is because my blood sugar drops but I have just the fix for that... more candy! (M&Ms or Raisinets are my preferred guilty pleasures)

    And since you started the conversation about horse-needle epidurals... I have to tell you I was talked out of it and "owie, zowie!" I was happy when that child finally popped out! Could be why I only did it once... thanks for another dose of reality laughter, you rock!

    Tara Reed
    www.TaraReedDesigns.com

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  2. Ok, I know this sounds too goody-goody, but it works for me most of the time ~ I exercise. I might not give it my all like I do on other days, but I give it something and it usually peps me up. Some. Then I get a diet coke. For the caffeine :-))

    Haven't seen you in ages, girl!

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  3. It gets even better/worse...

    Today I choked down 2 Metamucil biscuits with Redbull. Attractive.

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